Bunbunmaru Newspaper, Dreamland Murder Game Special Edition
Season 129, 3nd of Nagatsuki
Cry Woof! Dog Detective Has a Bone to Pick Three innocent guests fall victim to VIP, detonator, our own votes
Day two brings us two bodies before evening: Mr. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu was brutally attacked by the VIP during the night, and Mr. Yuya Sakaki’s corpse was found later that afternoon near the carousel. It is likely that the latter’s death was due to the detonator at work--further speculation suggests that said detonator or the detonator’s recipient may be working together with the VIP.
Evening only bloomed into more chaos as Mr. Levi, uncontested detective from last night, was finally and doggedly challenged by Mr. Missile. When it was clear that the majority of guests favored believing Mr. Missile’s claim over Mr. Levi’s, he admitted to faking the role. I was able to speak with him yesterday in an exclusive interview, complete with explanation for his actions:
' My only objective is to help the detective and keep them alive longer. Wost case scenario, I sewed some confusion into the ranks of the VIPs. If I'm killed, then there's a chance the VIPs thought I was real, and would believe they killed the true detective. If they don't, then there's a very good chance that Legion is not a VIP after all, and the real VIPs consider me a useful distraction.
You can report this however want. Tell them all that I'm a liar, and they'll probably lynch me for it. That's fine. I don't have a buddy, so I will be the only one to die, and I would deserve it for risking my neck. Whoever actually delivered that message could easily come to you and confirm their identity in order to out me. If the original sender is the real detective, then there's more of a chance that they'll do this. If the sender was a VIP, they may let me continue my charade, allowing me to convince everyone to execute Legion — assuming he's innocent.
Regardless, I wouldn't be able to keep this lie up for long, not even past tomorrow. It's not meant to be a long term deception. '
Unfortunately, Mr. Levi was correct. After our discussion, I decided neither to confirm or deny the fact that he had been the note-writer, whose identity remains a mystery. I believe we were all prepared and even expecting to see a counterclaim made against his detective status. We were evidently prepared to vote and execute him when it happened.
More information on Mr. Missile’s detective findings can be found on page X.
- Aya Shameimaru.
Parkgoers Published! Broadcast your voice
If you'd like to submit a story or piece of information, please feel free to leave a message under my door at Bee #6. Note: entries are not guaranteed to be accurate or trustworthy, just in-print.
Today's entries are:
a photograph of two photos unevenly torn out from her newspaper - one of Levi, one of Edea. Levi's is from yesterday’s newspaper and has been almost but not quite torn in half right across the face, Edea's is from the first issue and is barely recognizable from how ripped up it is.
' OBJECTION! THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T MURDER PEOPLE: 1. It's rude! 2. And illegal! 3. If someone channels their spirit they will probably want to avenge themselves! 3.5 Or you might accidentally murder their sibling and the surviving sibling will steal their face and murder you back! 4. Hugs are more fun than murder. 5. So is food! 6. Why murder when you can eat food instead? 7. Do you want to go to jail forever? NO, YOU DON'T. 8. Or!! Since there's no jail here do you want to be executed?? DIDN'T THINK SO.
[ the list actually continues all the way up to number 57, which is just don't okay and makes progressively less sense. The submission ends with: ]
And if you're a VIP, resist it! Those of us who are still alive can all make it out if we work together! Row row fight the power! '
- Miss Maya Fey.
[ Written in stiff, block capital letters: ]
' THIS IS ONE OF THE MEDICAL TEAM.
WE WANT TO ASSIST AS EFFICIENTLY AS POSSIBLE. UNFORTUNATELY, A VOTE FOR PROTECTION WAS WASTED ON LEVI LAST NIGHT.
WE WILL REVEAL OURSELVES TO ANY BUDDY COP OR DETECTIVE THAT CAN FULLY VERIFY THEIR ROLE. WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER. WE WANT TO HELP. AS SOON AS ONE OF YOU ARE ABLE TO VERIFY YOUR ROLE, ANNOUNCE IT PUBLICLY. WE WILL APPROACH YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
WE CAN ONLY PROTECT ONE OF YOU. THE FIRST TO VERIFY THEMSELVES WILL BE THE ONE WE PROTECT. WE WILL NOT BE MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE WE MADE ON LEVI. '
- Anonymous.
' Please note: Edea Lee is a VIP. Missile has confirmed this and you can ask him again if you must. Missile communicates discovered VIPs by fully ripping up pictures of them from the papers or through growls. Execute Edea today. '
- Anonymous.
' NOW ACCEPTING PREORDERS FOR THE Ponpon Princess Kenny Plentiful Orifices Deluxe Blu-Ray/DVD Set
Featuring: -3 hours of original, heart-pounding, pants-tenting ecchi content you won't find anywhere else! -Sukumizu photoset shot by Aya Shameimaru- so very hentai! -Exclusive interview with Princess Kenny- learn her four sizes! -Never before seen uncensored footage of Princess Kenny entering her hot barbarian husband's funeral pyre totally naked with dragon eggs!
Please see Mysterion in Elephant #2.
Estimated delivery date: In about 8 years, when Princess Kenny is legal '
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: He is a capable leader. There is no one who deserves to be called the Super High School Level Yakuza more than he... (- Miss Peko Pekoyama.)
Yuya Sakaki: I wanted to know him. As unfortunate as it is, we expect to see a body show up in the morning, but to have that happen in the middle of the day... (- Mr. Kurapika)
Levi: [H]e's a soldier. A captain, to be precise. You know what that means? That means wherever he's from, he's used to being responsible for many, many lives, or at least, he'd know already how that would feel. (- Mr. Sigma Klim.) ]
PAPER DELIVERY
Season 129, 3nd of Nagatsuki
Cry Woof! Dog Detective Has a Bone to Pick
Three innocent guests fall victim to VIP, detonator, our own votes
Day two brings us two bodies before evening: Mr. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu was brutally attacked by the VIP during the night, and Mr. Yuya Sakaki’s corpse was found later that afternoon near the carousel. It is likely that the latter’s death was due to the detonator at work--further speculation suggests that said detonator or the detonator’s recipient may be working together with the VIP.
Evening only bloomed into more chaos as Mr. Levi, uncontested detective from last night, was finally and doggedly challenged by Mr. Missile. When it was clear that the majority of guests favored believing Mr. Missile’s claim over Mr. Levi’s, he admitted to faking the role. I was able to speak with him yesterday in an exclusive interview, complete with explanation for his actions:
Unfortunately, Mr. Levi was correct. After our discussion, I decided neither to confirm or deny the fact that he had been the note-writer, whose identity remains a mystery. I believe we were all prepared and even expecting to see a counterclaim made against his detective status. We were evidently prepared to vote and execute him when it happened.
More information on Mr. Missile’s detective findings can be found on page X.
- Aya Shameimaru.
Parkgoers Published!
Broadcast your voice
If you'd like to submit a story or piece of information, please feel free to leave a message under my door at Bee #6. Note: entries are not guaranteed to be accurate or trustworthy, just in-print.
Today's entries are:
[ there are considerably less smiling faces in today’s issue, but the few include the Pines twins’ proud investigation conclusions, Kyoya and Miko discussing voting and Mori at the carnival. there seems to be just the one prominent scandal story and photoshoot--Budding Sweet Transvestite Surprisingly Ratty. the rest of the paper is dedicated to three considerably more solemn obituaries.