[ He knew this would happen, from the very moment he had seen a weakness that he could exploit, because that was the way the Earl of Phantomhive worked. And yet, that knowledge doesn't help him. He doesn't even care, because she could kill him now and that would be fine. But her question...

Did he kill him?

Did he kill Ciel? Or did he kill Oz? Did he kill anyone at all? Weren't they waking up? Or were they dead? He tries to grasp at the thoughts that hold the answers, but his mind can't latch onto any of them. Thinking about that day makes his heart pound in his ears, and he wants to scream out for Sebastian, even though he knows he won't come. But thinking about last night, about a proposal that he had accepted, but... He wasn't going to kill him. He wasn't going to kill Oz. They were going to wake up, and something had to happen first. ]

I can't—

[ He covers his face with his hand, his expression becoming pained as he tries, and he's trying so hard to catch those memories before they go away. ]

It wasn't... It wasn't supposed to be this way. I didn't want to wake him up... [ He remembers that. He's fighting to remember more, but it's so damn hard. ] We agreed. So how could he end up dead? I can't remember!