"Hello, guests! We hope you've been enjoying your day! Please gather in the Hall of Mirrors right away! You'll find it on the top floor of the House of Horrors funhouse.

"Oh, good! Everyone made it, and there were no casualties. We forgot to tell you that if the security system in those guest identification bracelets of yours are triggered, they'll detonate and take you out with it! Whoops! But now you know, so be careful and listen up once it starts going off."

"Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here, what's going to happen, when your friends and families will notice you're gone, how long your stay is going to be. The truth is, none of those things are a secret! We invited all of you because we wanted you to enjoy the park, and to be the first to test out a brand new game.

First things first! You probably noticed we have to fix you guys a little bit to make sure no one was going to be too much of a problem. We just nipped away at a couple memories and installed your identification bracelets, that's all.

But as we said earlier, we've found out a few of you are experiencing nasty side effects. Nausea, dizziness, vomiting, delusions, that kind of thing. Please be kind to our delusional guests, and it is important for their recovery not to jar them too badly with the truth. Responsible practices are important to us! You'll notice, for example, we've fitted the ones who think they're robots with robot suits, and we've helpfully provided profiles that will explain who everyone thinks they are. If you meet someone who thinks they're an alien, a robot, a time traveler, Belgium, or anything silly like that, do the responsible thing and pretend to believe them.

All right, with the legal notices out of the way, we can get started. You'll notice a ticket box in the corner of the room. Please scan your bracelets, and you'll be provided with your own copy of our rulebook. Go ahead, now!"